I CAN SMELL YOUR FATE

You're all going to die. Let me tell you how.

Mauled to death by a furry while squatting in a condemned Arby’s.  
It’s been decades since the Arby’s chain of restaurants all shut down, but there’s actually still some of the old decor left in this particular one.  Square burger patties never stopped being a weird thought to her.
Square burger patties.  That’s what’s going through her mind when the furry smashes through the garbage she piled up in front of the entrance to alert her to any intruders.
It alerts her alright, but it does no good as the intruder, wearing a turtle costume, a turtle costume only it’s hairy, is on her in a flash. 
He has her pinned to the floor when he pulls his turtle head off, revealing he has the head of an actual turtle.  Unlike the fake head he throws to the trash littered ground, this turtle head of his is expressive, animated by grief and madness.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" the turtle man abomination cries out at her, flecks of putrid smelling saliva spattering her face.
She knows she did this to him.  She’s been running for years now, fleeing her work as a geneticist for one of the world’s leading abomination makers.
"This is only right." she thinks, and he sees something in her face, some understanding that what he, the turtle monster is about to do, is okay.  Everything’s okay and has been leading up to this.
"Square burgers." she thinks.  This whole fucking world has been square burgers.

Mauled to death by a furry while squatting in a condemned Arby’s.  

It’s been decades since the Arby’s chain of restaurants all shut down, but there’s actually still some of the old decor left in this particular one.  Square burger patties never stopped being a weird thought to her.

Square burger patties.  That’s what’s going through her mind when the furry smashes through the garbage she piled up in front of the entrance to alert her to any intruders.

It alerts her alright, but it does no good as the intruder, wearing a turtle costume, a turtle costume only it’s hairy, is on her in a flash. 

He has her pinned to the floor when he pulls his turtle head off, revealing he has the head of an actual turtle.  Unlike the fake head he throws to the trash littered ground, this turtle head of his is expressive, animated by grief and madness.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" the turtle man abomination cries out at her, flecks of putrid smelling saliva spattering her face.

She knows she did this to him.  She’s been running for years now, fleeing her work as a geneticist for one of the world’s leading abomination makers.

"This is only right." she thinks, and he sees something in her face, some understanding that what he, the turtle monster is about to do, is okay.  Everything’s okay and has been leading up to this.

"Square burgers." she thinks.  This whole fucking world has been square burgers.

  • 16 February 2012
  • 38